In 2011 (during the pivotal experience of my Saturn Return), I began, for the first time, to consciously connect to the realm of subtle energies.
During this period of my life I came face to face with some murky and heavy karmic experiences. I also discovered the mystical support involved with being in connection to a wisdom stream, began doing my personal healing work, slogged through more than a bit of emotional pain, and, overall, started to grow and mature in those ways typically demanded by a heavy Saturn transit.
Deepening my relationship to Kundalini Yoga was a huge part of this journey. This was the year I landed in teacher training and developed my sadhana. I discovered the power of lineage, the bliss of deep meditation, the science of mantra, and the ability to commit to strenuous yogic practice. I took these teachings, along with my new energy body, to West Africa where the blessings and challenges of my Saturn Return continued. I discovered another dimension of mystical reality that challenged me physically, emotionally and spiritually. Saturn was molding me, pressuring me to become more of my authentic self, and to surrender the rest.
When I returned from Africa, I dedicated myself to the study of healing. I enrolled in a residential healing arts program in the San Luis Valley. Here I learned more about the subtle body, the circulation of energy, and how to work with chi in other people’s bodies! I studied the meridian system, the Five Element theory, practiced chi gong daily (an hour and a half, each morning), and learned how to consciously touch and feel others. I studied Shiatsu, reflexology, aromatherapy, Swedish, and deep tissue modalities, received Reiki I and II, and completed my certification in massage therapy.
When my Saturn Return drew to a close I was left with the task of figuring out how to move out into the world with all that I had gained from this rich year of study and practice. After dabbling for awhile - studying more, teaching a bit, working at a vegan restaurant, immersing myself in the study of astrology, exploring tantra, modern relational practices, receiving financial therapy, diving into intentional community work, women’s circles, and trading bodywork with other practitioners - I finally was ready to establish my own practice.
Astrology had started to become a major part of my life. It was yet another system which helped me understand the mysterious presence behind immediate reality. It gave me a lens from which I could view the changes I had experienced during this time of my life. Astrology taught me about my uniqueness, as well as the shared reality which exists through the web of cosmic vibrations. I had discovered how incredible it was to read the experience of this life through the motion of the planets, to know (in yet another way) that we are all was part of this vastness, expressions of the stars and planets, the luminous bodies in the sky, and the surrounding darkness.
So my work became all of this. Astrology, the work of engaging subtle energies, and the commitment to deeper and fuller embodiment through massage all involved this pulling back of the veil, this desire to move a little deeper into the mystery of life - and to do it with others.
Spanda, from the ancient language of Sanskrit (pronounced sp-ah-n-da), is a reference to this mystery. Spanda is the creative and vibrant pulse of consciousness which lies behind all of existence, the sacred tremor of primordial reality. It is beyond but also part of the body, the energy system, the Earth and the greater Universe. It is the mystical reality which is unseen but everywhere for us to experience and express.
spanda
स्पन्द (Sanksrit)
sacred tremor of Shakti; the vibration of consciousness which lies behind all of existence; pulse of creation; throb of the Divine; primordial vibration of the Universe
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